Saturday 30 January 2021

Doncaster Rovers (U18s) 0-1 Grimsby Town (U18s)

Doncaster Rovers (U18s) 0-1 Grimsby Town (U18s)
Football League Youth Alliance
Saturday 30th January 2021

Having seen the footage, here are some thoughts on the latest youth team game...


Doncaster Rovers' frustrating start to the new year continued as they were beaten 1-0 by Grimsby Town in a clash played on the 4G pitch adjacent the Keepmoat Stadium.

In what was a game of extremely few chances, the decisive moment occurred on 54 minutes from a move which initially started deep inside the Mariners' own half. A ball was played down the left-flank and an attacker got the better of his marker, turned, continued into the box and retained his composure to squeeze his shot past Luke Chadwick.

Sadly, Donny weren't able to muster up any sort of meaningful response despite having a decent spell of pressure/possession in the final 20 minutes.

Lewis Cunningham's set-pieces into the box were 'hit and miss' throughout but from open play very little was created as the visitors' backline, including one centre-back who was wearing protective headgear, showed assurance in dealing with what they were required to - meaning the 'keeper behind them had nothing major to do.

Overall, it was a good showing from a Grimsby perspective and they are probably on a par with Burton Albion for being the best opponents I've seen in the North-East Division so far this season. From a DRFC viewpoint, whilst there were minor bits and pieces to be happy about, there remains plenty of work which needs to be done in order to achieve more positive results.

As has been the case for the past few games, Rovers again opted to field a mixed team.

In the absence of Ethan Bojang who has been selected to represent The Gambia at the U20 AFCON in Mauritania and therefore will be absent for the next month, the captain's armband was handed to Cunningham. Surprisingly, he was the only second-year scholar in the starting line-up though all eight first-years were included. The other two places in the xi were filled by trialists - one place was alongside Michael Nesbitt at centre-back whilst one was in midfield. Some Under 16s who were involved in last week's clash with Bradford City also featured again.

On what, by all accounts, was a bitterly cold freezing day, the first half was pretty much a tight midfield battle with very little created at either end - certainly nothing clear-cut anyway.

Rovers actually had the ball in the net inside 10 minutes only to see it (correctly) ruled out for an offside flag which had long since been raised by the linesman.

Grimsby then created some openings with Chadwick being forced to smother the ball at the feet of an opponent before a 25-yard attempt was deflected wide only for a goal-kick to wrongly be indicated in an entirely separate move. A speculative effort from distance on the half-hour mark cleared the upright altogether, but arguably the visitors' best opening of the first 45 minutes was when an attacker was afforded a free header with a deep corner played beyond the back-post. His connection went across goal only for the danger to be cleared away pretty quickly.

Up at the other end in what was probably Rovers' only noteworthy opening other than the disallowed effort, Tom Henson had a powerful shot bravely blocked by a defender. 

In the second half, the Mariners went ahead with their composed breakaway finish on 54 minutes and thereafter there remained little in the way of goalmouth action as both sides counteracted one another to good affect. 

Frontman Alex Wolny was forced off having sustained a couple of knocks whilst he was battling to win the ball and replaced by second-year Luca Nelson whilst Charlie Bell was also introduced around the same point along with some faces from the Under 16s team.

But despite a decent spell of possession for a 5-10 minute period and growing intensity with the collective display as the full-time whistle edged ever nearer, nobody was able to provide a 'magic spark' or something special as Grimsby soaked up the pressure, kept their shape and looked composed in dealing with what they were required to.

Next up for Rovers is a trip to Lincoln City next Saturday where they'll be hoping to get revenge for a 1-0 reverse at Cantley Park earlier this season.

Wednesday 27 January 2021

Downing the Blades at Bramall Lane

Sheffield United 0-1 Doncaster Rovers
Coca-Cola Championship
Tuesday 27th January 2009

Jimmy O'Connor scores the winner at Bramall Lane (Photo: Unknown).

When Sheffield United coasted to victory in the reverse fixture at the Keepmoat Stadium earlier in the campaign, there was an ominous sense about the direction in which things were going for Doncaster Rovers.

Whilst Sean O'Driscoll's men were still getting accustomed to the rigours of Championship football, the Blades won simply because they were more clinical; Gareth Roberts' own goal putting them into an early lead before the excellent Stephen Quinn made it 2-0 on the hour mark.

Had Rovers took the opportunities which came their way (notably, Darren Byfield missed from only a yard out), it could have been a very different outcome - though that's a phrase in itself which epitomised the first half of the campaign.

The trend, of course, finally changed on Boxing Day as Nottingham Forest were battered at the City Ground and a month later as the players prepared to visit Bramall Lane, they were seeking a fourth straight victory having also beaten Burnley and Southampton.

United were managed by notorious long ball specialist (and all-round kn*b head, if you listen to the podcasts), Kevin Blackwell. Somehow the 'keeper-turned-gaffer had assembled a ridiculously strong squad with Gary Speed, James Beattie, Ugo Ehiogu, Gary Naysmith, Lee Hendrie and Chris Morgan amongst the experienced players on the books at some stage or another during the season. Coupled with promising young talents such as Kyle Naughton, Billy Sharp, David Cotterill and Kyle Walker (on the periphery of the first team at this time) on the books as well, they had a squad which was stronger than most in the division - so how they didn't get promoted is staggering!

It's fair to say Rovers were underdogs going into the clash with O'Driscoll and long-serving assistant Richard O'Kelly making jokes beforehand that they'd need to have 'tin hats at the ready' to deal with the aerial onslaught which they knew they were going to come up against.


The game itself wasn't exactly a 'classic' and in many ways it was the complete reverse of the meeting four months earlier. The Blades couldn't convert chance after chance with Neil Sullivan thwarting Danny Webber on numerous occasions, whilst Greg Halford was wasteful in good positions during a first 45 minutes which really was a stern test for Rovers' rearguard.

Ultimately, there was only to be one goal and the defining moment was possibly the personal highlight of Jimmy O'Connor's six-year spell at DRFC. The right-back didn't get many goals and he was left unmarked as he broke into the box and swooped home a cut-back from John Spicer right infront of 3,000 Rovers fans shortly after half-time. The goal; his first in over two years, sparked delight from those directly behind the net and earned Rovers their first (and, to this day) only ever competitive win at Bramall Lane.

There were plenty of glum faces amongst Sheffield United supporters afterwards - frustration at having been beaten at home, frustration at their style, tactics, manager and just about everything else, but not much in the way of praise for Rovers' landmark achievement.

In contrast, the 3,000 who'd made their journey couldn't contain their delight as they quite literally sang the night away on filled platforms at Sheffield Station afterwards. 

Rovers were becoming a resurgent force to be reckoned with once again and everyone knew it!





Sunday 24 January 2021

Bradford City (U18s) 4-3 Doncaster Rovers (U18s)

Bradford City (U18s) 4-3 Doncaster Rovers (U18s)
EFL Youth Alliance
Saturday 23rd January 2021


Having seen clips from yesterday's youth team clash with Bradford City, these are some articulated thoughts - it's by no means a full blow-by-blow account because I've not seen the game in its entirety.

Firstly, as the scoreline suggests (and from what I've heard), it was another 'mixed bag' of a performance on the whole with some of the issues touched upon previously again being apparent.

The positives are that the lads scored three times (even though it should actually have been more), whilst quite a few of the Under 16s team also got their first taste of action at this level and that's something which may serve them well in the long-term. Sadly, the negatives slightly outweigh the positives on this occasion and the team are still waiting for their first clean-sheet this term with some poor individual decision-making and sloppiness proving costly with a couple of the goals, especially late on. They twice let slip a lead (at 1-0 and 2-1) and, with the score locked at 3-3 late on, Bradford managed to bundle home what turned out to be the winning goal. The closing stages had similarities with the recent defeat to Scunthorpe with three goals being conceded in a relatively short period and, even though Rovers spent more minutes in the lead than what Bradford did, 'game-management' is an area where the lads collectively need to improve.

For a multitude of reasons, Rovers were without several second-year scholars which meant this was the perfect time to blood some younger lads. 

Those in red and white hoops started the game like the proverbial 'house on fire' - taking the lead through Tavonga Kuleya's very early opener when he demonstrated some good work to finish after being put through by Lewis Cunningham. That lead lasted over half-an-hour until Bradford equalised but Rovers quickly responded to ensure they held a 2-1 lead at the interval with Alex Wolny the player on the score-sheet and Corie Cole claiming the assist. 

In the meantime, the half-time winning margin could have been greater because both goalscorers didn't trouble the 'keeper with other chances created during the first 45 minutes. The Bantams also squandered a golden opportunity when they were trailing with a player knocking the ball wide on a rebound attempt despite having the goal at his mercy.

Several changes were made early in the second half with some of the U16s introduced and Bradford, who themselves have often fielded 'young' line-ups this term, began to take charge. Just past the midway point in the half, they won a free-kick in a dangerous position around 25 yards out after Rovers cheaply conceded possession with a rushed clearance and it proved costly because the subsequent set-piece shot was palmed down by Rovers' substitute 'keeper, who'd only just replaced Luke Chadwick, and a frontman pounced upon the rebound to make it 2-2.

Two minutes later and in the Bantams' very next attack, they completed a quick turnaround as an opponent found space inside the area following a clever through ball, turned, then unleashed a low drive which beat the 'keeper at his near, right-hand post - a disappointing goal to concede!

However, they weren't ahead for too long. Cunningham, scorer last time out against Scunthorpe, provided another assist with a left-wing cross which Dan Wilds connected with and sent beyond the 'keeper from close-range. The lads immediately sensed they could still achieve three points and were in a rush to grab the ball, get back into their own half and get the game re-started.

But their optimism was short-lived and the pendulum of what was now a 'topsy-turvy' contest swung back in the visitors' favour as they scored what proved to be the winning goal on 83 minutes. A near-post corner was punched away by the Donny 'keeper with the ball falling kindly for a striker who reacted quickest and sent his rebound effort into the net to make it 4-3.

That's how the scoreline stayed and, overall, whilst the defeat isn't a travesty or the end of the world, the lads will know themselves they must be more ruthless in both boxes in order to earn good results on a consistent basis. When you score three goals, you should be earning three points yet on the same token, if good opportunities go begging too often when you're 1-0 up and in the ascendancy, it can alter the course of a game, add pressure and give the opposition an impetus.

Sadly, 'ruthlessness' hasn't happened in recent outings and there's plenty of room for improvement in every area. The U16s who are getting their first taste of Youth Alliance football, rightly, need to 'step up' and raise their game but they also need guiding on the pitch with good leadership from those around them - whether it be a vocal presence or by better game-management.

With fixtures about to come thick and fast, there's going to be plenty of opportunities to set a benchmark and produce good performances. So my message to the lads is listen, learn, take onboard everything which is said from coaches in various sessions, try and implement it - and above everything, enjoy it!

Next up is a meeting against Grimsby Town - the reverse fixture a couple of months ago ended in a 1-1 draw and with the Mariners currently unbeaten, it should be a good test.

Team: Luke Chadwick, Tom Henson, Lewis Cunningham, Daniel Wilds, Charlie Petch, Michael Nesbitt, Will Hollings, Charlie Bell, Alex Wolny, Corie Cole, Tavonga Kuleya. Subs Used: Luca Nelson, Jaymie Walsh, Josh Lindley, Alex Fletcher, Ethan Harrison.


Saturday 23 January 2021

Why such negativity after Rovers' cup defeat?

If you're not sensible or lack brain cells, this post probably isn't for you.

Doncaster Rovers' FA Cup run came to an end as they lost 4-0 to West Ham United - it wasn't a disgrace and it wasn't really a shock either yet the over-reaction to the result in some quarters from several supporters on different social media platforms has been ridiculous (and that's being polite)!

Granted, the result was disappointing - everyone hoped, believed and wanted a different outcome - even more so with a juicy carrot dangling of a Fifth Round trip to either Old Trafford or Anfield. It would have been nice for everyone involved to get through but ultimately it wasn't to be and it was always going to be a tough ask to beat a Premier League team in their own environment.

Having watched the game, West Ham did so many things well and their performance was superb - it was a case of a good, in-form Premier League outfit who were full of confidence and belief, acquitting themselves well to the challenge infront of them and being efficient and ruthless when it mattered. Their quality shone through in their touch, their movement on and off the ball, their technique and it was 'next level' in comparison to anything which the DRFC players will have come up against in the past six months or so.

Sometimes it's difficult to fully appreciate just how good top level international footballers actually are until you come up against them and this was one of those occasions. There was no 'disgrace' (a word which I've seen used to describe the performance) nor a lack of effort on the part of any player wearing a Rovers shirt. It was literally just high pedigree players performing to a top standard. The better team won and you can only stand back, applaud and admire their performance.



I won't pick out specific comments for criticism but two lines of thought doing the rounds are Rovers didn't get stuck in enough and the team selection was wrong - okay, everyone is entitled to their opinion. 

It needs to be remembered that even if they were 'in the faces' of West Ham from the first whistle until the last one, the home players would still have possessed the same quality of touch, the same clever movement, the same good attitude and willingness and the same skill and technique which they showed in abundance. It should actually be remembered by the critics that between the first and second goals, despite all their possession, the Hammers didn't create a plethora of openings where they got shots away. Ellery Balcombe didn't have a vast amount to do and Rovers' shape/structure was alright.

As for a different team selection, whilst Taylor Richards did appear lively when he appeared from the bench, it's worth remembering Rovers' best opportunity was when Matt Smith rattled the upright with an attempt shortly before any substitutions were made. As good as Richards is, it's unlikely that he alone would have been able to alter proceedings to such a significant extent and, given West Ham's undoubted preparation, I've no doubt they'd have had plans on how to combat his threat over a longer period of the game.

Even if it the scoreline had hypothetically stayed at 0-0 (or even 0-1) for a lot longer, would Rovers have been able to find a route to success? It's unlikely - even more so when you also consider the strength in depth and talented players on West Ham's bench who were unused substitutes. For example, how good must Declan Rice be if his team-mates can perform to such a high standard without having to call upon him, when he's considered one of their best players? And if he had come on, could he have taken them to an even higher performance level?

Quite a few comparisons have been drawn with Cheltenham's display in their clash with Man City, but in reality that game is so different for so many reasons.

1) Cheltenham were playing at home, in their own environment, on their own (sloping) pitch at a different time of day and in familiar surroundings - those things make a massive difference.
2) They weren't playing West Ham so they'll have prepared for an entirely different proposition and how best to counteract it. You prepare best for what you're up against!
3) Their squad has a different dynamic to it, possesses a different style (e.g. the long-throw option and being more direct when it's needed) and is actually more experienced than Rovers' line-up - again, that makes a bigger difference than what you might initially believe!

There are other things too and ultimately, despite Cheltenham's best efforts, they still lost the game. They sure gave it everything and to the best of their ability - just like Rovers' players did, but it wasn't enough and I doubt there'll be many people criticising their performance today.



I also doubt there were many FC United of Manchester fans criticising their team when DRFC did to them what West Ham did to Rovers. Even though Darren Moore or one or two players might have thoughts such as 'What if this had happened?', etc, or they might not be happy with some things or think they could have done better, when the dust settles they'll quickly realise the level of quality in what they came up against was ridiculously good - if you want to be 'Premier League' standard, that's the benchmark that has to be equalled and I've serious reservations that any other side in League One would have got a result in that stadium playing against the Hammers in that type of form.

In one respect, the over the top criticism isn't necessarily a bad thing because, being honest, if the same group of players hadn't performed so admirably in League One for much of the season, the benchmark in what to expect would be significantly lower. 

On the flip side, some of the comments and negativity which I've seen are just ridiculous.

If the team were say 18th in the table at this stage and were being smacked in a league game by 'struggling' Rochdale or 'relegation-threatened' Burton Albion, etc, then fair enough - the criticism would certainly have to be expected and maybe even justified in some cases.

That isn't the case though so the 'knee-jerk' reaction is plain stupid - especially when the defeat was to such high calibre, high quality opponents who are doing well two divisions higher.

Some people reading this may agree or disagree with my comments and that's fair enough. I won't get everything correct which I write on this blog - that's life! If any grumpy souls read this and think I'm just a 'happy clapper' because I've no qualms about the performance I can assure you I'm no 'happy clapper' by any stretch of the imagination and there's plenty of things which I disagree with regarding matters involving the club from time to time.

But context and common sense is needed and I'm baffled beyond belief by the negative outcry the defeat has caused when there's absolutely zero need for it. I just don't understand it and, to any of the critical voices, please tell me one West Ham player who had a poor or bad game? From my eyes, none of them did - which underlines just how much of a formidable challenge it was to try and achieve a good result.

A win either over Wimbledon in midweek or at Lincoln next weekend; both games against opponents of a similar standard who aren't exactly Premier League quality, will go a long way in the short-term to helping the team achieve the overall objective for this season - and it should be remembered that DRFC are in a very good position to challenge for promotion.

That's what really matters!


Thursday 21 January 2021

The Vikettes take the piss!

Doncaster Rovers 1-0 Hull City
Coca-Cola League One
Saturday 22nd January 2005

When you're the reigning Division Three champions, describe yourselves as a 'Pub Team Having A Laugh' and are playing against the big-spending, noisy neighbours who you pipped to silverware at the end of the previous season, what's the best way to rub it in?

Obviously, it has to be by getting your cheerleaders to parade the trophy infront of about 3,000 away supporters who've made the trip to Belle Vue in a move which bore similarities to Jim Bowen saying 'Come and have a look at what you could have won!' to some unlucky loser at the end of an episode of Bullseye!

It was hilarious, though probably not to Hull City's fans. God knows what would have happened had they charged onto the pitch in anger - or what any subsequent Football League investigation would have made of the matter!



In fairness, the Tigers managed to have the last laugh as they earned another promotion, finishing in second spot again - this time to runaway champions Luton Town, before going on to enjoy plenty more success over the next decade or so as they flitted between the Premier League and Championship.

But it's fair to say they were more than humbled by 'little old' Donny Rovers during this era when both clubs were very much in the midst of an upwards trajectory!

Just a few weeks earlier, Hull had come out on top in a dramatic contest infront of 25,000 fans at the KC Stadium which saw Dave Mulligan's free-kick cancel out Danny Allsopp's opener, before Stuart Elliott (later to become a Rovers player) win it late on. Jermaine McSporran and Nick Barmy were sent-off for having a scrap which, apparently, continued even after they'd left the pitch.

At this game, after the Vikettes' parade, the 'pub team' exacted their revenge on the field with Michael McIndoe grabbing the winning goal around the hour mark with an acute angled shot which ricocheted off both posts before it eventually crossed the line. Belle Vue erupted into raptures; the goal brought plenty of pleasure and the Tigers couldn't find a response though their cause was hardly helped by Ian Ashbee's late dismissal.

The main talking point afterwards was still the Vikettes parading the trophy. Therefore, I'll let the dulcet tones of Jim Bowen in the video below remind Hull's fans what they could have won...



A tale of two captains...

Scunthorpe United 1-2 Doncaster Rovers
League One
Saturday 21st January 2006


As one captain departed, his replacement became an immediate fans favourite!

This was one of many memorable successes for Doncaster Rovers at Glanford Park and it included undoubtedly one of the funniest chants of all-time as a play on the words turned a popular sea shanty into 'What Shall We Do With A Drunken Foster?

It was, of course, directed towards former skipper Steve Foster, who had departed the club in acrimonious (and completely unexpected) circumstances only a week or so earlier along with Tim Ryan after an altercation early one morning during a team-bonding trip to Cyprus. Rumour has it, the pair were pissed and got involved in a fight with Dave Penney, but whatever happened it certainly paints a vivid picture and probably wasn't quite what the manager had in mind when the trip was arranged!



'Fozzie' had played a key part in the resurgence of DRFC - making close to 150 appearances as the team earned back-to-back promotions to go from the Football Conference to League One before then featuring in the memorable Carling Cup run, just a matter of weeks earlier, which had grabbed national headlines. 

It was no surprise that he wasn't a free agent for long and his subsequent unveiling in the claret and blue colours of Scunthorpe United certainly set the tongues wagging again - not least because it was Rovers' next away game and, if he played, it would be his debut for The Iron!

Rovers weren't without a skipper for very long though as Penney moved quickly in the transfer market to bring in Sheffield Wednesday defender Graeme Lee to Belle Vue. A calm and composed figure, the 27-year-old made his debut in a 1-1 draw with Chesterfield - the trip along the M180 to Glanford Park would be his first away outing for his new club.

Of course, both players were named in the starting line-up and an early noon kick-off, based on police advice, ensured the 'Drunken Foster' sea shanty was sung in the morning! It quickly caught on and it wasn't long before the entire away end was singing it aloud as 'Fozzie' warmed up with his new team-mates.

There was plenty of youth and experience on both sides with Billy Sharp (who'd not long been signed for a modest £100k fee from Sheffield United), Andy Keogh, Ian Baraclough and Andy Crosby amongst Scunny's starters whilst Sean Thornton, Ross McCormack (who was making his debut after a loan switch from Rangers) and Paul Green were in the Rovers line-up.



After a goalless first 45 minutes, it was in the second half where everything happened.

Only three minutes after the re-start, Jim Goodwin (who had replaced Neil MacKenzie at half-time) got on the end of Michael Rose's cross before planted a firm header past Rovers' new Irish 'keeper Alan Blayney and send the Scunny fans on the terrace behind the goal into raptures.

Penney's men had it all to do and with an hour played, the manager turned to James Coppinger for fresh ideas as he replaced Dave Mulligan - and within minutes the substitution paid dividends as Michael McIndoe (probably not into dodgy investment schemes at this point) equalised - guided home a long downfield ball with a deft first-time volley.

The stage was set perfectly for somebody to now become a derby day hero and what better way to make yourself popular with your new fans than by scoring a last-gasp winner?

That's precisely what 'Captain Fantastic' did in the 89th minutes when a cross into the box was only partially cleared towards him on the edge of the area. From fully 25 yards, the skipper than hit a speculative, sweet and looping effort towards goal which was utterly perfect as it sailed over the head of Tom Evans and into the net - thus resulting in the 2,000-strong Rovers fans exploding into euphoric celebrations!

With only stoppage-time left to play, the drama wasn't over, however, because a mass brawl involving both sets of players resulted in James Coppinger and Steve Torpey both being red carded - sadly, there isn't any footage of it (because lets face - other than the goals they're the best things in football) but I'm sure it'll crop up at some point in the future.

The tension was unbearable but Rovers held on for three points - incidentally the team's first win since the devastating Carling Cup exit to Arsenal a month earlier. It couldn't have been sweeter, or better, against a local rival - and the 'Drunken Foster' probably felt as sick as a parrot by this point!

It was certainly one of the best away days in Rovers' resurgence from the non-league wilderness to the Championship in the space of a five-year period.

TEAMS - Scunthorpe: Evans, Hinds, Crosby, Foster, Rose, Taylor (Sparrow), MacKenzie (Goodwin), Baraclough, Beagrie, Sharp (Torpey), Keogh. Unused Subs: Musselwhite, Byrne. Doncaster: Blayney, Fenton, Albrighton, Lee, McDaid, Mulligan (Coppinger), Green, Thornton, McIndoe, Heffernan, McCormack (Guy). Unused Subs: Fortune-West, Nielsen, Griffiths.


Wednesday 20 January 2021

Bayer Leverkusen 3-1 Hamburg (2016)

Bayer Leverkusen 3-1 Hamburg
Bundesliga
Saturday 10th September 2016


Bayer Leverkusen - a club known to many people outside their homeland although you'd be forgiven for not knowing exactly where in Germany 'Leverkusen' actually is!

Located close to Koln in the North-West and named after the pharmaceutical giant 'Bayer', they've been a staple in the Bundesliga for several years. Many familiar figures have pulled on their red and black shirts at different points including Michael Ballack, Sami Hyypia, Dimitar Berbatov, Javier Hernandez and Kai Havertz. They're probably best remembered for reaching the 2002 UEFA Champions League Final where they were beaten by Real Madrid as Zinedine Zidane scored THAT stunning goal.

Surprisingly, however, they've never won the Bundesliga despite the odd title challenge.

Their opponents for this encounter were Hamburg - a club who, at the time, were an ever-present feature since the Bundesliga's creation half a century earlier. Former European Cup winners and league champions as recently as 2007, they'd fallen on problematic times on the pitch a decade on - flirting with relegation year after year with increasing difficulty.



The game was on the second matchday of the Bundesliga season and the weather felt beyond boiling point (to put it mildly!) with temperatures in excess of 30 degrees. I'd planned the trip well in advance as part of a long week-long jaunt around Europe visiting various games and having run into difficulty trying to purchase a ticket online, discussion with Bayer Leverkusen ended up with them giving me a free ticket - not a bad way to start the trip!

It wasn't a thrilling contest on the pitch but it wasn't dreadful either - though roasting in the sunshine made the experience less enjoyable as it was 'too hot'.

After a relatively sterile first 45 minutes, things sprung to life when Hamburg took the lead against the run of play just before the hour mark as Bobby Wood reached a low downfield ball ahead of Bernd Leno who'd come flying off his goal-line only to miss the ball - leaving the American with the simplest of finishes from the edge of the box.

Leverkusen were made of sterner stuff than their counterparts though and they soon threatened an equaliser with Julian Brandt slipping a clever pass straight into the path of Javier Hernandez whose subsequent shot clipped the post before rolling out of play.

The hosts' pressure continued and Brandt, who'd started the game on the bench - only to be introduced at half-time, was heavily involved in the eventual equaliser on 79 minutes as he again showed the technical awareness to find space in a dangerous position and floated a teasing ball across the face of goal which Joel Pohjanpalo gratefully headed home to make it 1-1.

At this point, I subsequently made the decision to leave a few minutes early to 'beat the crowds' (and visit a handily-located McDonalds right opposite the stadium). I don't know what 'For F**k Sake' translates to in German but I certainly uttered those words when I heard Leverkusen's signature goal tune 'Rocking All Over The World' by Status Quo playing aloud - thus indicating they had scored a late winner. Then, only a couple of minutes later, I heard it again - why oh why didn't I just stay to see the final five minutes or so?

As it transpired, Pohjanpalo grabbed two injury-time goals to get a hat-trick!

Nevertheless, it was still a memorable trip and as I've said several times before on this blog, football in Germany is an altogether far more enjoyable experience for fans than in England. As well as being able to have a beer in your seat in view of the pitch without attracting the attention of a jobsworth steward wearing a fluorescent jacket, programmes (at most clubs) are free, ticket prices are cheaper, terracing is available and 'local transport' is often included in the price of your match ticket as well.

Photos below are from a stadium tour of the BayArena in January 2016:









Photos below are from Bayer Leverkusen vs Hamburg on 10/09/2016.











Monday 18 January 2021

Winning at Elland Road (2008)

Leeds United 0-1 Doncaster Rovers
Coca-Cola League One
Saturday 19th January 2008

It was the fixture every Doncaster Rovers supporter couldn't wait for; a promotion six-pointer away at 'noisy neighbours', another landmark moment in John Ryan's chairmanship, and a meeting which would give an indicator as to the team's promotion credentials.



The opponents were 'Champions Of Europe' Leeds United - a club making plenty of noise as they sensed injustice at having been docked 15 points after financial problems which arose following their relegation into League One at the end of the previous season.

Leeds, of course, were (and still are) an absolutely massive club, but their bold, brash attitude - refusing to acknowledge the points deduction in the league table in their matchday programme for instance, plus having a 'Cockney Mafia' of Ken Bates and Dennis Wise as owner and manager, respectively, meant they were never away from the headlines for too long.

Both teams were performing strongly in League One and right amongst the promotion mix. 

Under Sean O'Driscoll, Rovers were winning admirers for their ability to achieve results with a fluid brand of football - several teams had been 'popped off the park' and it was a joy to watch.

Leeds, meanwhile, had began the season with a vengeance - winning seven straight games (in what was their first ever campaign in the third tier) to wipe out their hefty points deduction and with it, bring expectations that they could wipe the floor with every team they came up against.

A lot of the pre-match focus centred on the contrasting journeys of the two clubs during the 2000s because whilst Leeds were Champions League Semi-Finalists just seven years earlier - and taking on some of the biggest clubs on the planet such as Barcelona and Real Madrid, at the same time Donny were trudging off to nondescript, downtrodden, non-league hell holes including Farnborough, Margate and Leigh RMI.

But here the two clubs were somehow meeting in a top of the table encounter!

To add extra spice, Leeds' (soon to be departed) manager was Dennis Wise. Often perceived as smug and arrogant to outsiders, it was no secret that there was no love lost between him and Rovers 'keeper Neil Sullivan who'd been on the books at LUFC just a year earlier.

As always, there was a great atmosphere inside Elland Road with the old 'Marching On Together' war cry only seeming to ignite the voices of the 3,000 travelling fans spread across the South Stand who responded with outbursts of 'Rovers Til I Die'.

It was a big day and there was a big game atmosphere to match!



The 31,402 crowd watched on as Rovers seized the early initiative and went close on a couple of occasions through James Coppinger and then Jason Price's stabbed shot from the edge of the six-yard box which went narrowly wide.

The pressure continued and a free-kick was soon in a promising position when Richie Wellens was brought down on the edge of the area. The danger was obvious and up stepped Brian Stock who curled the low set-piece around the hosts' three-man defensive wall and into the net. Leeds 'keeper Casper Ankergren (remember him!) was rooted to the spot and could do nothing whilst those on The Kop behind him fell into stunned into silence; Rovers fans up at the other end exploded into delirious celebrations!

With Rovers 1-0 up, it meant Leeds had everything to do and they nearly equalised when Jermaine Beckford (one of the most prolific strikers in the division at the time) unleashed a sweet 25-yard volley from a corner which Sullivan did well to keep out.

Brian Stock is mobbed by team-mates after his match-winning free-kick (Photo: Unknown).

The veteran 'keeper was kept busy in the run-up to half-time as the Whites forced a series of corners - coming closest when Darren Kenton's back-heel attempt from inside a packed six-yard box was blocked by Sullivan. The save meant it was still 1-0 at the interval.

It had been a typical 'blood and thunder' hard-fought 'derby' up to this point and the second half followed a similar pattern as opportunities were created and squandered at both ends.

Sullivan denied Beckford again when the striker got through and attempted to lob him, whilst Rovers then enjoyed a spell of sustained pressure as Mark McCammon and Coppinger went close - the latter having a shot tipped wide by Ankergren. A series of corners amidst intense pressure also came to nothing as Rovers couldn't get the second goal which they deserved by now - and it's fair to say that another goal would have gone a long way to easing the nerves which were starting to build up within the away end.

As the game ticked into the final 10 minutes, Leeds had no other option than to throw caution to the wind as Tresor Kandol who forced a good save from Sullivan with a long-range attempt. In typical Donny fashion, there was a 'heart in mouth' moment as the 'keeper dropped what looked to be a routine catch but with two home players quickly bearing down on his goal, he was able to grab the loose ball in the nick of time before taking an age to release it downfield.

Four minutes of injury-time seemed like four hours and referee Steve Tanner's final whistle was met with euphoric celebrations. This wasn't just any win. It was a win over 'mighty, noisy, brash and bold' Leeds United and another landmark in the resurgence of the club under John Ryan's ownership.

Celebrations continued for quite a while afterwards and the picture on Dennis Wise's face in his post-match interview afterwards spoke a thousands words. He looked annoyed and he certainly wasn't smirking because he knew full well that although the score was just 1-0, it could easily have been much greater.

These golden times will live on in the memory for years to come just as much as the image of Mrs Robinson celebrating afterwards (see first picture) remains iconic.

Rovers Team: Neil Sullivan, James O'Connor, Steve Roberts, Adam Lockwood, Gareth Roberts, James Coppinger (James Hayter), Paul Green, Richie Wellens (Mark Wilson), Brian Stock, Mark McCammon, Jason Price (Matt Mills). Unused Subs: Lewis Guy, Martin Woods.

Paul Green in an aerial tussle with Bradley Johnson (Photo: Unknown).

Jimmy O'Connor defending against Tore Andre Flo (Photo: Unknown).

James Hayter tussles for the ball (Photo: Unknown).



Saturday 16 January 2021

Max Watters is a Bluebird

He was only at Crawley Town for 99 days... but what a remarkable 99 days it was!

Yesterday, exactly 14 weeks after putting pen-to-paper at the Broadfield Stadium, it was announced that Max Watters had joined Championship side Cardiff City for a reported seven-figure fee.

There had been much speculation about where he'd end up with Swansea appearing to be leading the chase for his signature at one point and Brighton, Watford, QPR and Celtic mentioned as possible destinations amongst others. But it's in South Wales where he'll be plying his trade for the next three-and-a-bit years as the Bluebirds seek a return to the Premier League.

Max Watters with his 'Player Of The Month' award for League Two (Photo: Crawley Town).

His impact at Crawley (16 goals in 19 games) can't be understated and he'll leave a remarkable legacy as this transfer fee, coupled with whatever the club accumulate from their FA Cup run - during which he's more than played his part, will undoubtedly help to see them through the Covid-19 crisis.

Nobody, not even Max himself, could have imagined that he'd make such a devastating impact in such a ridiculously short space of time. It's been phenomenal and a far cry from this time seven months ago when he was one of several players released as Doncaster's owners (fronted by CEO Gavin Baldwin) made the haphazard decision to scrap the Under 23s team as a cost-cutting measure.

Being released inadvertently turned out to be the best thing which could have happened and he had a stroke of good fortune when Maidstone (where he was on trial in September) played Crawley in a friendly. Watching from the stands at that game were John Yems and Lee Bradbury who he impressed sufficiently enough for them to invite him to train at Crawley. He signed a contract about three weeks later and... the rest is history - even though there's now several Donny Rovers fans upset that he very much appears to be 'the one that got away' to coin an old cliche.

Cardiff supporters will probably be wondering exactly what type of player Max is and, in my view having watched him frequently (and more than most DRFC fans by the way) when he was in the U23s - probably around 75% of his games, he wasn't exceptional with one single particular attribute but he was very good at a number of things such as his pace, his directness, his movement and running at players. He's not a target man but has height which he can use to good effect sometimes. His touch is decent. He's confident and a clever player who gets in good positions. He's technical and obviously it's his goalscoring ability, which has been phenomenal in recent months, that's attracted all the attention from higher division clubs.

Max in action for Rovers' U23s at Cantley Park.

I wrote at the time he was released that Max was the top performer in the U23s and, in my opinion, he was worthy of a contract extension. He should have got one - even taking Covid-19 into consideration but if he had, would he really have been given a chance under Darren Moore considering the same manager overlooked him at a time when he was performing well - including a game at Rotherham in October 2019 which sticks out in my mind, in favour of bringing in Rakish Bingham, Kwame Thomas and, a few months later, Devante Cole?

The answer is probably not.

Had Max stayed at DRFC, there's every likelihood he'd have been limited to fleeting appearances 'here and there' in competitions such as the Papa John's Trophy or loaned out to a non-league club whilst new players would have featured at first team level. As things have transpired, being released was the best thing which could have happened because it's unlikely he'd be in this position now if his contract had been renewed.

I've always suspected the reason why he was overlooked and limited to just four substitute appearances in League One was because he was a player the manager inherited from a previous regime as opposed to someone he signed himself. A different boss such as Darren Ferguson (who signed him initially) or Grant McCann (who rated him highly) may well have had a different outlook and made a different decision. 

It certainly can't be argued by anyone that Bingham, Thomas or Cole are any better than Max, but if a first team boss is keen to bring in his own players and overlook what he already has - there isn't much anyone else can do about it. I do get a manager's viewpoint because if results turn poor, it's his job that will ultimately be on the line - hence why some managers who move clubs constantly sign the same players who they feel they can trust.

Max Watters is a Bluebird (Photo: Cardiff City).

There are some DRFC supporters who'll claim that Max was seen numerous times in training, in the games he played and that releasing him was the correct decision.

They're entitled to their views and with Rovers flying high and looking strong for a promotion challenge this season, it's hard to argue with the fact that Darren Moore has assembled a good squad in Max's absence against a backdrop of financial restrictions placed upon him from those above. However, he's screwed up here, made a mistake, dropped a b*llock (call it whatever you want) and let a good player, who has proven himself in the Football League, leave the club for nothing. 

In fairness, he isn't the first manager to do such a thing; it's worth remembering that Millwall released John Marquis before DRFC picked him up and sold him for a significant fee, and he certainly won't be the last manager to do such a thing either! It sometimes happens that way in football.

If Rovers' owners (from Terry Bramall to Gavin Baldwin) feel dismayed by the fact Max has now been sold for a significant seven-figure sum then I've got zero sympathy for them. I've been around football long enough to know that no club with a Category 3 or 4 academy pay their U23s players a significant weekly wage amounting to thousands of pounds - or anywhere close to it. Renewing the deals of just two lads who were out of contract would hardly have eaten into the playing budget - even with the salary cap in place - and, when the owners wealth is estimated at approximately £400M, then I've just got zero sympathy if a poor, financially-motivated 'penny-pinching' decision comes back to bite them.

In any case, it's worth remembering that Darren Moore still had the final say on contract decisions after the U23s were dumped in such unceremonious fashion and despite being the best player within the U23s group, Max's deal wasn't renewed. Again, it just consolidates my theory that he was just intent on bringing in his own players for his long-term plan - and, being fourth in League One and through to the FA Cup Fourth Round at the time of writing, it's working out the way he'd have wished.

On the whole, what the saga does prove beyond doubt in my mind is that there were young players who were 'first team ready' within the U23s set-up and it'll never be known what Shane Blaney (a left-footed centre-back now at Sligo Rovers - and one to watch out for in a few years), Rieves Boocock, Myron Gibbons or some of the other lads who were out-of-contract and released could have achieved at Rovers with a bit of luck and a run of regular games.

For Max, my hope now is that he can replicate his goalscoring form at Cardiff, enjoy every single minute of living in South Wales over the next few years and enjoy playing for a big football club with a strong identity. Hopefully, he'll achieve an even bigger move at some point further down the line and continue to make plenty of headlines.

Good luck!


Tuesday 12 January 2021

Doncaster Rovers (U18s) 2-4 Scunthorpe United (U18s)

Doncaster Rovers (U18s) 2-4 Scunthorpe United (U18s)
Football League Youth Alliance
Saturday 9th January 2021


Having now viewed footage from the recent Under 18s game against Scunthorpe United, it could best be described as a mixed/inconsistent performance which the lads in Doncaster Rovers shirts produced in their first run-out since the turn of the year.

Despite some missed chances during what appeared to be a really positive first 30 minutes or so, Alex Wolny fired Rovers into a deserved lead close to the half-hour mark but it was a lead which didn't last very long as Harry Lewis capitalised on some hesitant defending to equalise for the visitors - meaning it was 1-1 by the interval.

Scunny, who sit at the top of the Football League Youth Alliance table, then dictated much of the play during the second half and snatched maximum points with three goals during a frenetic final five minutes; Jack Moore-Billam, Cameron Wilson (who was really effective) and Charlie Strouther on the score-sheet with a Lewis Cunningham goal for DRFC sandwiched in-between when it was 3-1.

Rovers' late defensive collapse is undoubtedly the biggest cause for concern - especially if you consider the lads are still yet to register a clean-sheet in any competitive clash this season. The defending for some of the goals conceded just wasn't good enough and although Scunthorpe rode their luck at times, particularly during the period when the game was goalless, on the overall balance of play there can't have been too many complaints about the result come the final whistle. 

Focusing on the positives from a DRFC perspective, three players from the Under 16s squad stepped up to play in the youth team for the first time, full-backs Tom Henson and Cunningham (whose goal was actually his first in a DRFC shirt) put in decent displays whilst Tavonga Kuleya was noticeable from the footage as he was lively, tricky and seemed to cause problems for much of the game.

Due to the freezing overnight weather, the game was played on the 4G pitch in the Sports Complex adjacent to the Keepmoat Stadium and it was probably a good job there were no spectators as temperatures must have been -1 or -2 at least.

In the early stages, Rovers were quickest out the traps with Alex Wolny and Luca Nelson having chances - the former clipping the post with a deft header on around the quarter-hour mark, whilst Charlie Bell also went close with a speculative attempt not too long afterwards.

Eventually, a lead was established through Wolny who rifled a low drive across the 'keeper with aplomb from inside the area on the back of some good midfield play by Will Hollings.

Strangely, the positives in Rovers' display suddenly vanished and instead they became a bit too sloppy and careless in possession - not retaining the ball well enough, and it allowed Scunthorpe, who'd also squandered a good opening at 0-0, to begin to dominate.

Ben Bottomley had already saved a stinging 20-yard shot from the edge of the area, but there was nothing the 'keeper could do when the Donny defence practised 'social distancing measures' only moments later - backing off, backing off and backing off even more after losing the ball close to the halfway line. It thus allowed Harry Lewis (on his birthday) to carry the ball a great distance before he unleashed a shot and made it 1-1. Fair play to him! The Iron youngster then had another attempt just before the half-time break which went just over the upright.

After some substitutions at half-time - including the introduction of a couple of Under 16s players whose season up to now has been hampered even more than the Under 18s, Rovers initially looked bright again for around a 10-15 minute spell, but it didn't last as the visitors eventually began to establish a foothold and dictate the midfield battle.

More opportunities came and went, though they were mainly for the visitors, as Moore-Billam forced a near-post save midway through the half and Wilson did likewise shortly afterwards. Luke Chadwick, who came on as a substitute - replacing Bottomley between the sticks, was kept busy and he pulled off another stop with around eight minutes to go as he was at full-stretch to keep out Lewis' attempted chip.

The floodgates then opened to devastating effect in the dying embers of proceedings. 

In a goal which bore some hallmarks to the hesitant defending which had led to the earlier equaliser, Moore-Taylor drove through, beat a couple of players and produced an emphatic low finish to make it 2-1. Further damage was then done almost immediately as Rovers lost the ball from the re-start, culminating in Wilson receiving possession midway inside his opponents' half, getting the better of Max Jemson in a one-on-one scenario, before also finding the target with a powerful drive.

The lads immediately responded themselves with Cunningham being the unlikely scorer with a left-foot finish from the edge of the area but any hopes of a comeback were quickly dashed straight down at the other end of the pitch as Strouther got on the end of Wilson's cross and slotted beyond Chadwick to complete the scoring and earn Scunny a 4-2 win.

Overall, the poor defending wasn't good enough and my opinion is that at least a couple of the goals were preventable. Better positioning, firmer defending and not being afraid to put a tackle in - as opposed to letting opponents get a run at/across you, would have helped, but it's a learning curve. The trio of Under 16s who featured will no doubt have gained plenty from the experience and they'll be hopeful of receiving more game-time and opportunities in the coming weeks.

With the FA Youth Cup Third Round tie at Peterborough United now postponed for the foreseeable future due to Covid-19 restrictions, the next scheduled game (at present) for the Under 18s is away to Bradford City on Saturday 23rd January.

Monday 11 January 2021

Hammering Chorley!

Doncaster Rovers 7-0 Chorley
FA Cup First Round
Tuesday 20th November 2018

The night under the lights when Alfie May set a Doncaster Rovers record.


Even though he departed in a controversial manner, there's no doubt Grant McCann's reign at Doncaster Rovers coincided with some of the most memorable matches in recent times.

Rovers were fast-flowing, free-scoring and relatively carefree during his season-long tenure, reaching the Fifth Round of the FA Cup and clinching a top six position in League One on the final day of the campaign before succumbing to Charlton Athletic in the Play-Offs.

It was arguably the best period for DRFC since they dropped out of the Championship and one record which was set during McCann's era was the 'record win (at the Keepmoat Stadium)' as National League North outfit were mercilessly put to the sword in an FA Cup First Round replay. 



The initial tie on Remembrance Sunday had ended in a 2-2 draw with Herbie Kane's double cancelling out goals from Josh O'Keefe and Courtney Meppen-Walter which had twice put Chorley ahead. Matt Challoner, memorably, was also shown a straight red card for a dangerous tackle on the goalscoring loanee which could quite easily have broken his leg. It was one of the worst which I've seen, anywhere, in recent times.

By the final whistle of the first game, it's fair to say that there was no love lost between the teams and a replay at the Keepmoat provided Rovers with an opportunity to beat the non-leaguers in surroundings which were more comfortable to them and on a miles better pitch.

The replay would also be a night where Alfie May would enhance his popularity amongst most supporters, silence some naysayers, and emphatically write his name into the record books.

Chorley were no doubt happy to have just earned a replay at a Football League ground because it meant a share of the gate receipts which could aid their promotion challenge in the National League North. Though they contributed only a few hundred fans to the 3,048 crowd, the way a small contingent amongst their following conducted themselves in and around the ground hardly endeared them to anyone!

On the pitch, it didn't take long for the feeling to set in that a proper 'walloping' might be on the cards as it took May just seven minutes to bag the opener; showing an exquisite touch to bring down a floated ball forward by Kane before firing home via the woodwork.

A 1-0 lead quickly became a two-goal cushion with former Mansfield man Matty Blair on target from close-range and the outcome was all but settled before the half-hour mark when Kane combined with Blair on the counter-attack before drilling a low ball past the Chorley 'keeper.

Although the minnows were being mauled, Rovers showed no signs of 'easing up' and May soon made it 4-0 with what was arguably the goal of the night; tucking a low drive into the bottom corner following a quick, clever, intricate defence-splitting, one-touch passing exchange which was simply far too good for Chorley's defence.

If the visitors weren't already longing for the half-time whistle, they ought to have been - especially when May completed his hat-trick, in the process making it 5-0 on 36 minutes, with a predatory close-range finish after Andy Butler's initial attempt was parried straight into his path by the 'keeper.

Despite Tom Anderson being red carded just before the hour mark and John Marquis seeing a penalty saved - much to the annoyance of some home fans for some bizarre reason, playing against 10 men couldn't stop Chorley's suffering and more misery was to follow.

Despite 316 competitive games having been played at the Keepmoat Stadium before this one, no player had ever scored four goals in a single match but that changed in the closing stages when more 'May-Day' alarm bells were sounding with the hat-trick hero left unmarked to slot home from a left-wing cross and create his own little piece of DRFC history.

At 6-0, the score would have been Rovers' best ever since moving to the Keepmoat in 2007 - simultaneously equalling the overall record set by Ipswich Town when they triumphed by the same scoreline in a midweek Championship clash in the 2010/11 season.

However, with just five minutes left on the clock, Marquis finally got his name on the score-sheet to set the outright record as he curled inside from the right channel and floated a shot into the top corner beyond Matt Unwin who was rooted to the spot.

It really was a proper hammering!








Sunday 10 January 2021

Big Leopold's Greatest Hour!

Doncaster Rovers 5-0 Leyton Orient
Nationwide Division Three
Saturday 10th January 2004

Leo Fortune-West - perhaps the greatest 'cult hero' to ever pull on a Doncaster Rovers shirt?

Far from being the most technical or talented footballer of his generation, the forward was awkward; big, (very) unorthodox, problematic, much tougher than he often received credit for and a handful to play against. No centre-back would relish the challenge posed by 'Big Leo' and he made a successful career out of using his attributes to the best of his ability and possessing an uncanny knack of being in the right place at the right time to score plenty of goals.

His popularity at Doncaster Rovers was no doubt helped by the fact he was part of the club's most successful side in a generation but his finest hour in the red and white hoops was on Saturday 10th January 2004 when Leyton Orient - the club who he grew up supporting (allegedly!), came to Belle Vue.


Following back-to-back defeats away to promotions rivals Hull City (where Jason Price, incidentally, got a hat-trick) and Huddersfield Town, questions were being asked to whether Rovers actually had the credentials for a promotion challenge.

It's fair to say that any naysayers and critics were emphatically silenced!

In fairness, Orient were the perfect opponents at the time in who you'd probably want to play against if you were desperately seeking to get back to winning ways. They had just appointed Martin Ling as their new manager and found themselves in a lower mid-table position in Division Three - they weren't as bad as some people would make out but they just weren't brilliant either.

Nobody could have foreseen what was about to unfold, however, because it took the big man less than a quarter of the game to bag his first hat-trick since April 2001 and leave Orient's travelling fans despairing at the fact their team were getting walloped.

His opener came on six minutes when he was left unmarked to prod home from close-range following some good work by Michael McIndoe down the left channel, before he then doubled Rovers' lead on the quarter-hour mark - reacting quickest to a loose ball after Glenn Morris could only parry Greg Blundell's somewhat tame, prodded shot.

With Belle Vue already in good spirits, an unlikely legend was quickly born because just three minutes later, the Leopold grabbed another goal (and his best of the game) with a stooping header from a right-wing cross). It was brilliant, it was a fast hat-trick - certainly one of the fastest in Doncaster Rovers' history and the 3-0 scoreline meant the game was already pretty much over as a contest.

Disparaging comments such as 'Rovers can't handle the pressure of a promotion challenge', 'The wheels are falling off' and 'They're just a flash in the pan and a pub team' which had been made over the previous week or so by seemingly so many, were now being firmly rammed back down the throats of the critics.

With the headlines already written by half-time, the O's probably just wanted to keep the scoreline respectable but not even they could deny Blundell from capping off a tremendous, hard-working individual performance (one which sticks out vividly in my mind) with a goal on 56 minutes.

Peter Hynes, a young Irish forward on loan from Aston Villa for a short time, then got in on the act when he capitalised on a terrible error from Morris. A shanked goal-kick by the Orient 'keeper went straight to Blundell who subsequently fed the young loanee for the simplest of close-range finishes.

Thankfully, there's so much footage in existence of this famous win - including Soccer Sunday material which includes an interview by John Helm (below) where he compares Fortune-West to 'a boxer who sounds like Chris Eubank and even delivers the knockout blows!'