Sheffield United 0-3 Stuttgart

Sheffield United 0-3 Stuttgart

Pre-Season Friendly

Saturday 5th August 2023

If this game is a sign of things to come then it might be a long old season for Sheffield United.

Less than 24 hours after a team beginning with the letter ‘S’ dominated against their lower-division rivals from the other side of the city, this time it was a team beginning with the letter ‘S’ in the shape of Bundesliga team Stuttgart who looked way above where the Blades should be by this point in pre-season.

Stuttgart are your average outfit in Germany’s top tier; probably comparable to an Aston Villa or a Crystal Palace. If they’re doing well, they might sneak into Europe; if they’re doing badly, they might be looking over their shoulders and having a few nerves but, generally, they’re mid-table and far from the best team in the Bundesliga!

Yet in this game, they could (and probably should) have had a few more goals than just the three they bagged which all came courtesy of Serhou Guirassy.

The Germans had already gone close a couple of times before Guirassy was played through in the eighth minute, put his marker on the back foot with some good footwork, and produced a low drive which beat Wes Foderingham at his near-post - and the lead was doubled by the quarter-hour mark when he got his head to a corner and planted the ball home.

Right on half-time it could have been three as a one-on-one in the last 15 seconds of the half saw Foderingham come out on top and after a glaring miss just after the restart by Enzo Millot (one of those which seemed harder to miss than score), Guirassy duly completed his hat-trick around the hour mark - smashing the ball into the top corner with Silas Katompa getting the assist and celebrating in shithouse style; turning to the Blades fans who were booing him for his part in an altercation a few minutes earlier, raising his arms and saying ‘Thank You Very Much’ (or something along those lines anyway).

United did probably deserve a goal on the balance of play as Will Osula had one from a tight angle blocked on the line in the first half, then couldn’t convert when he got in-behind the Stuttgart defence and was bearing down on the goal after half-time, but the overriding thought from this game is the Blades have their work cut-out when it comes to avoiding relegation from the Premier League this season.

Most fans (neutrals and even Blades themselves) think they’ll probably go down anyway; Paul Heckingbottom and his squad somehow have to turn that pessimism and negativity into fuel and develop an ‘Us against The World’ type siege mentality, but the evidence of this game shows they’re probably four or five experienced players short of having the depth and bite to really go out and compete at the top level.

And given the continued uncertainty surrounding the ownership at Bramall Lane which seems like it’ll never end and go on forever, I’m not certain they’ll get the number of bodies needed to sufficiently improve their squad either.

I don’t think they’ll do as badly as Derby who won just once and got only 11 points in the record-breaking worst-ever all-time season in the Premier League back in 2007/08. For what it’s worth, I don’t think Derby’s record will ever be broken but I do think Sheffield United will be on the wrong end of quite a few hammerings over the coming months.

It looks ominous!